Dave's Site

I intend to present here a different joke every week. Many are long jokes, but occasionally I’ll slip in three short jokes at once. I’ll try to use salty language only when it helps the joke. I apologize but some will make fun of a man while others will make fun of a woman. Hopefully no one will be offended. Here goes.

A NOBEL EVENT

King Arthur was about to leave on a two-week hunting adventure when he confided his concerns to Merlin the magician. “I have never been away for this long,” Arthur said. “How will I know if Guinevere has been chaste?”

“No problem,” Merlin said. He went to Guinevere and cast a spell. He then undressed her, When he brought a carrot near her a magic guillotine appeared and sliced it in half.

“Wonderful,” Arthur said. “I will go on my way with no worries.”

After two weeks of hunting, heavy drinking, debauchery and human sacrifice, Arthur returns a contented man. He immediately lines up his knights of the round table and has them undress. Every knight exhibits some degree of castration except for Sir Lancelot. Arthur speaks to them.

“Men, I am very disappointed in you,” he says. “I am gone for only two weeks and every one of you tried to have relations with my beloved Guinevere. For this you will all be subject to a whipping. Except for Sir Lancelot. Lancelot, you are the only one who has behaved like a true nobleman. For this you shall be rewarded. I will give you anything that you want. Please tell me what you desire.”

But Lancelot was speechless.